I always wonder what people's first impression of me is. Do I make a good first impression? What say you? Anyway, after people get to know me, some have told me that I am an easy-going person. Some have even told me that I'm pretty tough and solid; some have said I'm confident and pretty bold and others have just deemed me carefree and sometimes just plain weird. I don't know what it is about me, but lately I've been feeling pretty contrast to all those adjectives used to describe me. I constantly feel kind of afraid and insecure, sometimes I behave strangely too. For instance from tearing up from laughter, I can suddenly switch to someone quiet and deep in thought. To be honest, I even cry almost every night, and for what reasons I do not know. I don't know, it could be just hormonal imbalance, but whatever it is, I dislike it. Sometimes, just sometimes, I worry about the way I look. I worry about what people think of me, you know, all those things that normal people fret over. Normal. What a word. No one's ever used it to describe me before, so I guess what I'm turning into is what people call "normal"? Hm. I suppose I can only keep this up for so long, this whole split personality thing, until people start looking past my smiles and figure out what's actually going on behind the scenes. I wish I could revert to my old self. No.

I know I can.